Hellfest 2016 part 1
When I was asked to report Hellfest for the awesome Antichrist Metalzine, I was more than a little excited. I had previously never attended such a roaring event, and if I would’ve disgraced such a fest with my unworthy presence ( don’t worry, I mean this in the most humorous of ways ) it had propably been Graspop, since it’s the more convient option for us Dutch bastards. But since I was offered the chance to go to Clisson, I never even considered the Belgian alternative.
DAY ZERO – THURSDAY
Left at 6:17 from Amsterdam central station. I arrived at Clisson somewhere around 15:00. I know other people might say that this is doable amount of time spend travveling, but I’m Dutch. You could cross the entire lenght of my country twice in this time. When I stepped out of the train, a little panic got a hold of me. I didn’t know where to go. I had no idea where the actual festival was, and I don’t (want to) speak a word of French. First I considered just going in whatever direction, hoping to find some signs. Then a little logic seeped in, and I just followed the hundreds of metal fans who where, evenly confused as me, hanging around the station. After a little walk, I must admit Clisson is a very pretty looking town, we arrived at the entrance of Hellfest. They weren’t opened yet, but luckily they did open them about 20 minutes after I arrived. Waves of people stormed towards the gate, and I was very happy with my press entrance. When I got inside I noticed that there were a relatively low amount of entrance ports. So i can image how long some people must have been queing. Speaking of this, the one negative thing I have to say about the whole thing is that I thought they didn’t have enough of things. There were very few toilets on the campsite, there were a grand total of 3 ATM’s and the entrance ports at the festival ground and the main entrance were scarce to say the least. This meant we all had to wait a significant amount of time. From what I heard from people who went to Graspop, the lines there were less bad.
When you enter Hellfest, you are welcomed by a rather impressive main square. The organization went all out with the aestethics of the festival. From the main square, you could go to the festival ground, the Metal Market and the campsite. After briefly checking out the market, I decided it was about time to set up camp. On the way from the square to the camp, I came across a smaller stage where bands were already playing. I skipped them, as i figured it would be wise to make sure I had a place to sleep. Before the actual campsite, there were some merch stands and food trucks. Never really checked any of them out, other than walking casually by. The campsite was divided into a number of colour coded camps. I ended up at white camp. Right next to the shitter. But, I don’t complain as I was very close to the festival and didn’t have to sneak around in the dark too much to find a toilet. At about 18:30 I went to get some supplies. I figured I’d need some food and water. Didn’t get any of that. Instead of being smart and buying like a salad or something, I had dinner at McDonald’s. They had special metal themed meals. Nothing different from their usual crap, but they named them Mcmetal or something. The staff was wearing McDonald’s shirts with metal fists on them, and they played metal music. It was nice enough and fun to see that part of town entirely transformed to please the metal nomads who grace Clisson once a year.
On to the supermarket. In front of the rather depressing and large building, right on the parking lot, Hellfest had parked a moving stage. Bands were playing. some were decent enough. Anyways, I got some beer and snacks and headed back to my tent. On the way back I noticed a lot of people were just setting up their tents on the road and in people’s yards. Also, a lot of festival goers parked their car where ever they could and slept in them. Back at my tent, I tried to befriend my neighbours, but They didn’t speak English. Bummer. At around 21:00 I crawled in to my tent and slept until 9:00 the next morning.
DAY 1 – FRIDAY
One thing you notice at Hellfest, is that they don’t mind making you wait. Everywhere you looked, there were people waiting. Now, I’m not an idiot. I know that with such a huge event, you’re bound to have some lines. That can’t be prevented. But this was really unnecessary. 3 ATM’s is an insultingly low amount. And other Hellferst goers might point at the fact that Hellfest has it’s very own Cashless system. Which would’ve honestly been great, had they done it right. The idea is, you buy a card, just like a regular credit card, and you put some money on it and you can pay with that card. Great system, you wait in line once, load up enough to last the whole weekend, and be done with it. Except, you can’t get any food with it. That’s right. It’s just for the bars and the one Hellfest snack counter, where you couldn’t get anything respectable to eat. Meanwhile, they had a whole square set up with all kinds of different food stands. But, you had to pay cash at most. Some would accept Mastercard or whatever, but none accepted the Hellfest Cashless card. Wouldn’t have been such a problem if they didn’t barrage you with slogans like “no cash in hell”. This meant you were still forced to stand in line at the ATM’s. So please make sure we have one paying method for everything next time around!
But enough with the negative, let’s take a look at some notable names for the Friday. First of, we have Audrey Horne. They were the first good band to take the mainstage. And they rocked. They played their smartly written, catchy hard rock tunes with a lot of flare and confidence and I was very pleased to see that their songs translated well in a live setting. After they were finished I went to get a Cashless card, so didn’t get to really experience any bands for a while. The next thing I saw was Nashville Pussy. Not the greatest music, not even the greatest performance but they had a lot of fun. And the last song they played, the title eludes me, was stellar and I did have some laughs. Wouldn’t go out of my way to see them again, but enjoyed their appearance on the mainstage. The last part of the set I watched from the side of mainstage 2, so I could have a nice spot for Shinedown. And it was well worth it. I wasn’t familiar with their material at all, but I loved their set. That dude can sing! and the playing wasn’t half bad either! Sure, some songs aren’t really what you would call brilliant but I had a bunch of fun and I wished they played a little longer. After they were done, I thought I’d hydrate myself a little. So obviously, getting a good Belgian beer was THE option for me. As I walked towards the bar, I watched my fellow concert goers. They were all having a great time. I didn’t see a single bitter face. This made me happy. Also, I noticed how almost every single soul present was French. I figured there would be more metalheads from abroad, since it’s one of the biggest festivals in metal but I was suprised to find it out I was one of the few foreigners. Which was kind of a problem, because my French is about as good as your Klingon probably is. But I was able to order my drink and pay without reaching for Google translate. I had to leave festival ground for a while, because I needed food. When I came back, I went up to the brilliant, impressive and menacing Warzone stage. It was time to check out Killswitch Engage. Unfortunately, I was standing way at the back, but I did feel the power of their show and liked it very much. Not the biggest expert one Killswitch Engage, but I thought everything sounded tight. I wanted to see the Melvins so I left early to get a good spot. Right before the Melvins started, the sky broke open and rain came falling down like there was no tomorrow. Luckily, I was already inside the Valley tent. For obvious reasons, the place was packed. Melvins started out with an eerie, atmospheric and even a little forboding piece of instrumental music. After a while, the singer came up to the mic and yelled: “HELLFEST, HAVE YOU BEEN ENJOYING YOUR HEAVY METAL CONCENTRATION CAMP SO FAR?” this combined with their doomy music and the pouring rain made for an unusual and creepy experience. But it was a good kind of unusual and creepy. I decided I wanted good spots for Volbeat so I left a little early. On my way to Volbeat, I walked passed the second mainstage. Hatebreed was playing. Oh boy, what a cringe fest it was. I thought they looked stupid, played even dumber songs and I coulnd’t take them seriously as adult human beings seeing them like that. Afin, I had nice spots for Volbeat. A band that I got very excited about seeing. They opened up with a song. Then they kinda just repeated that same song with different lyrics. There was so little distinction between their tracks. I was so bummed out by them. No energy, lame setlist and it was just plain boring. The playing was alright, but it didn’t make up for the bad sides of their performance. Dissapointment of the Friday for me! After that, I was so bummed out I briefly left the festival ground to go get some more food in to my face and rest up before the grand finale of the Friday. The band I was so eager to see live again. And it’s not Rammstein. The last show I caught that day was the mighty Testament. They played a fully packed Altar stage. And it was intense. And brutal. They played such an awesome setlist and they were tight as hell! Great performance and something I’ll never forget. Especially since they played “Dog Faced Gods”, one of my favorite tracks.
So there you have it part one of three of my Hellfest report! I tried to keep it as casual as possible and give you all an idea what the festival was all about, as well as sharing my personal experience. I dont see the point in only giving reviews for the bands. You could just get some random reporst of their standalone shows and stick them together, and you’ll have the same result. Next time I’ll go more into detail about the festival ground and the general vibe of the whole thing. Thanks for reading!
(c) Koen Oostendorp
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