“Adulation Of The Great Kat”.
On Friday February 24th, I was exceedingly grateful to briefly chat with The Great Kat. Talk about your fatale distractions! I was not used to the abuse. Most of the time she screamed with a shrill cry, biting my ear off, chiding and inciting me to become more vigilant to her cause. She was not sorry to dismember me but as a Kat possessed slave, I was more than willing to do her ever bidding.
The Great Kat: (Screaming at the top of her lungs) “You have reached The Great Kat, the one the true legend, the reincarnation of Beethoven, your Goddess!
MettleAngel: Hello Katherine, it is an honor to speak with you. I truly appreciate you agreeing to do this interview…
The Great Kat: Wake Up! What is your first question?
MettleAngel: Well, I respect you highly as the fastest female guitarist ever, a true shred merchant. I just do not understand the “Bondage By Blood” imagery? You keep posting all those sexy, erotic photos on Facebook which are stimulating, but I feel that more viewers are interested in your feminine wiles, more so than worshipping your body of work.
The Great Kat: Do you think that I give a crap what people think of me? Why should I care about being politically correct! Buy my stuff! Go to my website and buy CDs, DVDs, signed photos, etc.
MettleAngel: I want a shirt but you do not have any available in 2XL, and $35 is a bit steep for a one-sided shirt. You have released all those great (EP)s like ‘Wagner’s War’, ‘Rotting Rossini’, or ‘Bloody Vivaldi’, which all validate your true talent. You made it evident that the release ‘Total Insanity’ is not an official Kat licensed product, perhaps you should release a compilation with all those titles on one Disc, and sign it. I am sure fans would buy this.
The Great Kat: (Still screaming) “They can buy all my stuff now!” Sometimes I feel like Wagner. I am here to promote “The music of the future”. I choose to mix Classical Music with Metal. I champion art and instrumentation. I graduated from the school of Juilliard with honors. I am a proficient violinist. I play my music note for note.
MettleAngel: I am aware that you are a Virtuoso. I inform your followerd of this fact all the time. I find it noble how you earned a scholarship to Juilliard. I respect this, and all of your musical skills.
The Great Kat: Good!!!
MettleAngel: I relish your debut ‘Worship Me Or Die!’. On this you release had such tongue in cheek lyrics like “Satan Goes To Church”, “Satan Says” (imitating Simon Says), or “Kill The Mothers”. With ‘Beethoven On Speed’, you carried this over with “Ultra-Dead”. Will we ever see a new release in the vein of the first two titles on Roadrunner Records?
The Great Kat: I am always working on new material. I have a DVD coming out soon. I am working on “The Four Seasons” by Vivaldi. Fat Tuesday we will celebrate the 225th Anniversary of Rossini. People need to realize what I have accomplished. You have five seconds to ask me a good question Michael or I am hanging up!, Why do you listen to and love The Great Kat. How does my music make you feel!
MettleAngel: I love how you celebrate Classical Music. My son recognized “The William Tell Overture”, as the theme from ‘”The Lone Ranger”. I enjoy your renditions of Wagner too.
The Great Kat: Wake Up! Tell people this! Tell them who I am! I once performed for former Mayor Koch. I am sure you are familiar with Dr. Timothy Leary, right?
MettleAngel: Of course, The Moody Blues and Nevermore wrote songs about him: “Think for yourself and question authority! Turn on, tune it, drop out…”
The Great Kat: You got it! I worked with him too, but nothing has yet to be released. It is time to kick down the door! People need to get off their asses and recognize! One last question!
MettleAngel: I saw footage on YouTube when you toured in the early 90’s. I am surprised that I did not catch you live. Are you planning to tour anytime soon.
The Great Kat: That is a stupid question! Click (She hung up on me)
That ended our conversation. Initially, I was in shock, but I also chuckled, because I hold such esteem for this impulsive and compulsive, fastidious, perfidious perfectionist of immoral rectitude.